Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it – don’t cheat with it.
I’ve discovered something about myself (does that ever stop happening, discovering things about ourselves?). I try to divide my time between writing and art as equally as possible because I love both. But when I’m feeling a bit down for whatever reason (eg, the biscuits are all gone), then I gravitate towards writing. When I’m practically bouncing with joy (eg, there are lots of biscuits), then I would rather draw or paint.
I’m pretty much past the phase when, especially in my teenage years, I would write angry or melancholy poetry or stories to express my feelings. Now it comes out in much more subtle ways, where I don’t address the issues directly but they do affect the tone of the piece. I’m generally quite a happy person and I think it’s because I do write. My stories are usually quite dark or have dark undertones. All my worries and fears are on the page instead of in me.
Drawing on the other hand seems to be more of an expression of love and happiness. I’m inspired by illustrations I remember from childrens books I read when I was younger. It’s a happy place to be.
It’s not that I’m tortured when I’m writing, far from it. I love it and I don’t necessarily realise the serious subjects of the writing until I read it back. But I always feel lighter afterwards or sometimes a bit drained. It’s hard to explain to people who don’t write because they don’t realise the emotional effort that goes into it. It started raining when I wrote that. Talk about being over dramatic!
Anyone else experience this?