“Two Wild Uncles Gyrating To The Beat”

Ever used a random plot generator? If not I highly recommend it; they can be hilarious. Most online generators seemed to be geared towards Fantasy and Sci-Fi so the results can be odd to say the least. They can be addictive as well and then you have to get out of the habit of planning stories and not actually writing anything.

While I’ve never actually written anything inspired by a plot generator, I have come across nuggets of preformed ideas that have wormed their way into my writing at some point. I look upon generators as researchers look upon Wikipedia; it’s a starting point, not the answer to all your questions. 

All in all ideas aren’t difficult to come by; just look outside your window and there will probably be some form of muse out there, even if it’s just a brick wall (you could write about someone staring at a brick wall, waiting for inspiration to hit them). It can be hard to come up with fresh original ideas though, especially in the Fantasy genre. The trick I suppose isn’t necessarily to come up with brand new ideas but write whatever it is you like in a new way.

It’s easy to get stuck in the planning phase of writing. Maybe online generators help some people to fast track through that part, particularly in the case of world building. Things can always be changed later.

Anyway I had a bit of fun with a generator this afternoon and the following story resulted. No writing was involved; I picked all random ideas and I’m immensely proud of it. The generator can be found here. Please feel free to post any results if you decide to try it, I’d love to read them.

Two Wild Uncles Gyrating to the Beat
    – a short story

by Bob

Zach Jones looked at the minuscule torch in his hands and felt angry.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always loved idyllic Cambridge with its putrid, plastic parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel angry.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Mathias Thunder. Mathias was a brutal god with squat lips and grubby thighs.

Zach gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an incredible, intelligent, beer drinker with sloppy lips and brunette thighs. His friends saw him as a vast, vague volcano. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a sneezing chicken.

But not even an incredible person who had once jumped into a river and saved a sneezing chicken, was prepared for what Mathias had in store today.

The rain hammered like boating pigeons, making Zach jumpy.

As Zach stepped outside and Mathias came closer, he could see the xenotropic glint in his eye.

“I am here because I want a wifi code,” Mathias bellowed, in an adorable tone. He slammed his fist against Zach’s chest, with the force of 182 kittens. “I frigging love you, Zach Jones.”

Zach looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the minuscule torch. “Mathias, I love you,” he replied.

They looked at each other with worried feelings, like two bloody, barbecued bears boating at a very sweet bar mitzvah, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two wild uncles gyrating to the beat.

Suddenly, Mathias lunged forward and tried to punch Zach in the face. Quickly, Zach grabbed the minuscule torch and brought it down on Mathias’s skull.

Mathias’s squat lips trembled and his grubby thighs wobbled. He looked surprised, his body raw like a raw, rich ruler.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Mathias Thunder was dead.

Zach Jones went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.




One thought on ““Two Wild Uncles Gyrating To The Beat”

  1. With the force of 182 sneezing chickens backing me up, I reget to inform you that prose dripping in adjectives – gyrating or not – is considered purple and bad style. Only amateur writers will need to use plot generators but I admit, it looks like a source for an afternoon’s fun and you’ve produced a very amusing tale. Or do I mean “tail” as in kittens demanding free Gucci handbags with their school meals?

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